Tangled in all these stings
by yesiamanowl
Summary: Modern AU. Killian was just a samll boy with a love for guitars, and how time changed him, only to lead him to a golden haired saviour.


He remembered the way his brother would send him to sleep by playing his guitar, a welcome distraction to their father's drunken shouting, the way he would then climb into bed with his little brother to keep away the nightmares and monsters. (So often they would be hit for being in the same bed in the morning) (Some days Killian swore his father knew nothing of love) (Little did he realise he would miss him when he was gone)

…

Killian remembered the day Liam finally acquiesced to teaching him how to play the guitar. He remembered how right it felt, the metal strings making the notes he dreamed of, the control he had on the music. He remembered Liam's laugh when he tried holding the guitar in reverse to him so he could copy him as a mirror. (He remembered when their mother gave him a guitar for his birthday) (And when she fell ill and Liam was away at sea he would play whatever she desired to hear) (And he remembered the day when she was no longer there to listen, and he was all alone)

…

He remembered playing on the streets to get whatever money he could to get food. He could still feel the way a jolt of electricity passed through him whenever he picked it up. He remembered the day when Liam found him again; huddled up in an alley way, to cold and ill to get up to greet his own brother. Sometimes he could still feel those strong arms around him as Liam carried him to the closest A&E to keep him alive, and when the warmth of his hands were the first sensation he felt when he awoke. Two days later he was admitted into the naval school which Liam had just graduated from not a year before. (He could see Liam's proud smile as he told him that he had gotten into Dartmouth, and he would be training to be an officer) (He remembered the comradery he had with those he studied with, the way they would all play their instruments together after a long day) (He remembered his graduation when he finally met Liam's fiancée, Elsa) (That was the night that Liam told him he was assigned to his ship as first officer under Liam as captain)

…

He remembered whenever they docked at their home port, they would gather together would some of their men and go play as a band in their home pub. The way their voices would fly around the room, the way people would join in with them whenever they played a popular song. He tried to remember the way Liam would smile at him, but his memory was fading; Liam was growing cloudy. But he could still picture the night he met **her**. She had said her name was Milah, that she was unhappily married and she wanted someone to talk to (she never wanted to talk) (She only ever wanted him to take away and bed her) (She didn't get that till much later)

…

He could only watch as he remembered the day he and his brother were sent into the warzone. He could hear the guns and missiles flying overhead, and the screams of men who were hit. He could see the shock in Liam's eyes as he was hit by a poisoned bullet to the shoulder whilst protecting him. (Liam died in his arms not two days later) (He remembered having to watch his brother's funeral when they returned to Portsmouth) (And when it was over, he was told he was being pulled out of service, that he wasn't mentally stable enough to handle the ship for an extended period of time) (He remembered when he went back to their apartment he picked up each guitar he and his brother had ever played on and smashed it) (But when he reached Liam's favourite guitar, he broke down in tears, holding it close to his chest, the splinters in the floor cutting into his legs)

…

He could feel Milah's soft hand as she stroked his skin. She had fed him alcohol until he could no longer see, then she took him to bed. She always forced him down, and although he knew he felt something, he knew it wasn't love. (He saw the look in her eyes as she was murdered, a bullet straight to the heart) (Her last words; _I love you_ ) (He wasn't sure if his heart would ever beat again after her death)

…

He still had his letter from the police to say that he would be allowed to become a detective for murders. He could picture the office when he first walked in, his first briefing, his first case. He helped find Milah's murderer, and he still felt the anger from when he found out that Milah's ex-husband had hired someone to murder someone. He remembered the tears on Gold's newlyweds face when he arrested him. (He had never felt more proud in his life for closing the case) (But he became a close friend with Belle, Gold's new wife) (They both shared a love of books and the desire to travel) (It was with her that he filled out the form necessary for him to move to America) (He needed to get away from his ghosts)

…

When he landed in Maine and was settled into his new flat. He played Liam's guitar so much and so hard he snapped tow strings and all his fingers were bleeding. Belle had joined him in the migration across the pond, and had even found a library that was closed in the small town in which they had come to reside. (The name was Storybrooke, and Killian could almost feel the same thing that had screwed him over more times than he could count in the air; **fate** ) (He remembered putting on the deputy sheriff's badge for the first time) (He was surprised that he and Belle were even welcomed into the small town's community) (Although neither would ever complain)

…

He remembered when a blonde haired goddess came to Storybrooke after her son had found her- he practically had to remind Graham that he was going out with the mayor (who happened to be the adoptive mother of her son) and that he really shouldn't go there. He remembered the way she blocked everyone out, with walls so high that most people would never bother to climb them (But all he could see was a reflection of himself) (She too had lost people) (She was just better looking and alone)

…

He remembered the day Graham died; he had been dealing with a commotion at the mines after their collapse whilst he and Emma had gone on a man hunt. He remembered holding her close when the tears shook through her body, and giving her his badge whilst he became the sheriff. (He became closer to Emma and Henry after that) (This was just as well for Belle had found a kindred spirit in a man named Will Scarlett) (They didn't have the most ideal meeting- he broke into her library- but they had formed a special kind of bond) (Not love) (But a close friendship) (He had only allowed Will in after he gave the ' _hurt her and you die'_ speech)

…

He smiled at his and Emma's first date. He had taken her to a small Italian on the other side of town, and they had both finally let down their walls enough for them to have a good time. It got ruined by the kitchen setting on fire, but they just decided to move it back to his apartment. That was the first night in over two years that he had played Liam's guitar, his fingers moving swiftly across the strings to songs that Emma was fond of. (Even when he started to cry Emma didn't judge him) (And could have sworn that he could never have loved her more) (Oh was he wrong)

…

Together they fought each new foe in town, and somewhere along the way he, Emma and Henry had all moved into an apartment together. And since that had happened they had always had a tradition that each Friday they would all curl up on the sofa and watch a movie. This always happened after about ten minutes of solid discussion for what movie they would watch. (Henry still stayed at Regina's from time to time, but he mainly lived with them) (And even when Henry wasn't there he and his Swan would watch a movie together) (And somehow it always ended up being the princess bride)

…

He remembered the day when Emma had been taken as hostage by a bastard calling himself "The Dark One", and how just before she was taken, she had told him that she loved him. (Just like Milah) (But this time he and Henry had each other to fall back on) (And Regina was surprisingly helpful in her efforts to find the man) (Not to mention between her and Belle they made sure that he actually slept and ate) (Something tells him that Henry may have sweet talked them into doing it. (But he wasn't so sure)

…

He felt no shame in crying when he and Emma were reunited again, he practically swept her off her feet and kissed her before telling her that he loved her too. That was the night he had proposed to her. He remembered kissing away her tears and how Henry joined them in a hug which ended up lasting for over 5 minutes, they had all been too happy to take note of how much time was passing. (He remembered how Henry had punched the air in delight when he asked him to be his best man) (But he was even more surprised when Emma's maid of honour turned out to be none other than Elsa, Liam's fiancée) (He was pretty sure he had panic attack, but all he knew was he had blacked out and awoken to them all around him in the hospital) (Thankfully that was the only time that that had happened)

…

He ended up wearing a blue suit for the wedding, but nothing could have ever prepared him for how beautiful Emma looked as she came down the aisle, her brother David walking her down (They had only found each other recently). If he recalled correctly, nobody in the church was left with a dry eye once the ceremony was over. (The honeymoon was more than vivid) (He had taken Emma to Spain) (The days were spent exploring) (But oh the nights were ones that he would never forget)

…

It was four in the morning and little Liam and Ciara had finally fallen back to sleep. Liam was a doppelganger for his brother, whilst little Ciara was practically a carbon copy of him. He had decided that they best way to get his twins asleep was to tell them his story, and more importantly, how he had met their mother. Emma stood in the door frame, watching as her husband got their four year old's to sleep. Emma wasn't sure when she had decided that having children with Killian were a good idea, but she was more than happy that she had. She was eight months pregnant with another little girl, and more often than not when the twins woke up he would talk to Hope whilst he thought Emma was asleep (She never was) (Not without him there). Sometimes Killian would look at his wife's swollen belly and feel like his heart was going to burst out of chest, but the sheer happiness he felt could never be placed into words. The lost boy had finally found his way home, and he knew that whichever constellation Liam was in, he would be smiling. And now more than ever, he was glad he had been tangled in all those strings that Fate had thrown at him, for it had allowed Emma to be the one that untangled his guitar heart and allow it to play once more.

 **So yeah… I was trying to write the final chapter to a hanging tale but for the past two days this thing has been stuck in my brain. Thankfully, a hanging tale should be out in the next day or two if all goes according to plan. Notes for that last bit if you are confused;**

 **-Hope is Killian and Emma's unborn child**

 **-I say Liam is in the stars for my family believe that's where we all go when we die.**

 **Reviews? 3**


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